NEW YEARS EVE - Departure lounge - How sad am I

I found a motel and decided to drop off my stuff. After reevaluation I decided that it wasn’t a good idea to go with no sleep. For this reason I got a room and slept for 5 hours.

I woke up at midday and dropped my stuff in the back room. I had Indian for breakfast. It was actually some of the best Indian I’ve ever eaten. In fact definitely the best Indian I’ve had outside of India. After leaving the hotel I was approached by a tuk tuk driver who said that he would take me around Bangkok for 10 baht. He took me to a few places and then to his ‘sponsors’. I bought an overpriced tie. The next temple he took me to, I got out and walked around. When I came back 20 minutes later he had gone. Bugger, I fell for the oldest scam in the book.

Feeling a little pissed off about being ripped off I decided to walk around the city for the rest of the day.

I saw some nice temples. As I didn’t have my lonely planet book with me I couldn’t appreciate any of the history on the temples. For this reason I just snapped photos of temples and moved on. It was good way to quickly see the city. After looking at temples, I stumbled on Kaoh San Road. It was as tacky as I had expected and the rip off goods were grossly overpriced (compared to India). They were grossly overpriced even when I did bargain! (And I am really good at it).

After shopping for 2 hours, I decided that I should look at a bit more of the culture. I walked around and looked for temples. Unfortunately I got horribly lost.

I tried to make it back to the hotel but was unable to find it. I flagged down a tuk tuk driver who said he knew where to go. As I had expected, he didn’t. I remained in the tuk tuk until he had found it though. I wasn’t going to be ripped off. After talking to his tuk tuk buddies he eventually found it (and didn’t demand any more money). I got out and had dinner. I thought that as breakfast (lunch?) was so good that I would have Indian again.
Again the Indian was really good. I was really impressed with the quality of it. It then struck me - A feeling and crushing in my stomach that I had felt only a few times before. I knew what it was.

I ran to the toilet and exploded. BOOM – Ohhh fuck – This is terrible. It was the worst diarrhea I had had in 5 years. I actually remember the last time I had had diarrhea that bad. It was on a train in India. Unfortunately I know what had caused it - The Indian I had for breakfast. I knew this because of the chilies! Now, I don’t mind this but I was positive it was the chicken I ate for breakfast. Now this is ok. THE PROBLEM IS I HAD JUST EATEN 2 CHICKEN DISHES FOR DINNER – Bugger.

I was shitting my guts out. The rest of dinner was ruined due to this. Because of this mishap and the fact that it was New Years Eve (and possible traffic) I decided to head to the airport early. I wasn’t in the mood to sit or walk around Bangkok and seeing New Years celebrations that I couldn’t be a part of. I went to the airport. When I was at the airport I was really sick. I was shitting every 5 minutes (literally). It was horrible. I couldn’t stomach any food. I was shaking. It was not pleasant at all.

I was then burdened with a 500 baht departure tax. I hadn’t expected this but should have. It is something I had been smacked down with numerous times before. Of course, like those times, I hadn’t brought enough money. It pissed me off to no end. I had to use the credit card machine to get out 500 Baht (1,500 YEN). Man I was pissed off.

I headed through to the departure lounge. I was still shitting my guts out. I walked around for a bit but couldn’t stray too far from the toilet.

Overlooking the departure lounge I wrote an email. I will post this email. It was to a friend of a friend who was thinking of coming to Asia to teach English.

After I had written the email I looked at my watch and it was 12.10am. My god – New Years day and no count down. HOW SAD…I was thinking how sad I was until I was interrupted by next toilet stop.

I went and boarded the plane. Thankfully, I had the whole row to myself. I slept on the flight and managed to sleep quite well despite a few toilet interruptions.

One of the many dogs

I saw this dog sleeping outside the big Buddha.

The Big Buddha

It was quite a sight - 40 meters tall and solid gold.

MMMMM - Yummy

And I wonder why I got sick!

Overflowing tuk tuk

In India we managed to fit 8 in the tuk tuk!

Kaoh San road

Full of markets, westeners and over priced rip off goods. Pretty cool though.

Leaving the islands

I got 3 hours sleep. I woke up packed.

I had lunch with Lance, Claudia and Stirling. I had to leave half way though to catch my bus to the ferry terminal.

I went to the ferry with this French couple. I felt like we were the only ones leaving the islands. Who would be stupid enough to leave the day before NEW YEARS EVE! I met up with the Hiroshima guys. They were heading to Phuket for New Years. While waiting for the ferry the Mai Thai boxing boom box was blaring in our ears. It went on and on and on. It was pissing me off to no end. After about 35 minutes of this nuisance noise it started to lose its batteries. Thank god there is a thing called Karma!!!It had pissed off so many people and now it was taking some of its own medicine.

We boarded the boat – I SLEPT

We left the boat and got on a bus – I SLEPT

I got off the bus – AND SLEPT

I got on the bus to Bangkok and met a pretty cool guy. After talking to him for an hour – I SLEPT

I arrived in Bangkok – AND SLEPT

I was actually debating not sleeping in Bangkok. I arrived there at 4am on the 31st. I was flying to Japan at 1am on the 1st. I decided to sleep as the room was cheap and I knew that if it was hot I’d be in a really bad mood and irritable in the afternoon. I wanted to try and enjoy Bangkok. I actually think getting a room was one of the best moves I made. I slept brilliantly.

Island trip - And last night on Koh Pan Nan

I chilled in bed until lunch time. I didn’t sleep one bit. Instead of rolling around I thought it was in my best interests to get up and do something.

I had lunch with Claudia and Lance and decided to go on a boat trip around the island. We were going to a waterfall, a secluded beach and snorkeling. It was going to be a good afternoon. I hoped on the boat (not realizing I was supposed to pay before hand) and we set off. The first stop was the waterfall.

It was lovely and the water was crystal clear. As it was a scorching hot day the swim was refreshing. We stayed at the waterfall for an hour. I think the picture below can do a better job of describing the waterfall than I can.

The next stop was a secluded beach. This is where we had lunch. Due to the heat I had lost my appetite but I knew that I needed to eat something. I think I had an ice chocolate and some pasta. It was nice talking with my newly acquainted British friends. They were all very nice. One had been to India and we talked about that.

The day was getting on when we hoped onto the boat again. We went snorkeling. To be honest I was VERY disappointed with this. Maybe it’s because I have been snorkeling over some wonderful reefs in Fiji and New Caledonia. This really didn’t compare. The fish were small and all of one kind. The reef wasn’t much to look at either. The others on the trip thought it was amazing. Maybe, I was in a bad mood and therefore thinking everything sucked or maybe they have never seen a decent reef before. One did say their first snorkeling trip was a success, so I guess it may have been their first times.

We sailed round the island until the sun went down. It was peaceful.

As we got off the boat I asked the guy who to pay for the trip. He looked up at me confused. One of the English people intervened “you were supposed to pay before you got on the boat” – Whoops – I guess I got a free trip – I’m not complaining! In these countries anything that’s free is difficult to find – I was glad for it (My money was getting low). .

For dinner, Lance, Claudia, 2 Hiroshima guys, Christine and I headed to an Italian place. My last dinner on the islands! It was a good dinner. As it was the last night I ordered some heavy duty drinks - Mai Thai’s and Long Island Ice teas. It was going to be a goodun.

Dinner came and went. We headed to the beach where the party was starting. There were a lot of people. As the beach filled up even more, I realized I was going to miss the islands. I like this lifestyle. It’s unhealthy at times but it is a good lifestyle nonetheless. Maybe one day when I have a gap to fill (in my life) I will migrate to Koh Pan Nan and stay for a few months. I think that would be a good plan after JET!

I got talking to a British and Finnish girl. They were both really nice (and hot). I must say there is a story that came from this but it’s not for public knowledge (and for those filthy buggers – I didn’t get a 3some).

The night was good. A great way to end my holiday.

I headed back to my place at 6.30am as the sun was rising. I had to be up at 10am. Another night with little to no sleep!

The boat around the island

The sturdy boat used to sail around the island.

The waterfall

A beautiful looking waterfall

Another waterfall pic

A nice sunset from the boat

A relaxing end to a brilliant day.

The group

The last night was filled with buckets and people - Definitely good times

Me and my bucket

A friendship was created forever - Me and my bucket :-)

The Brit and the Fin

The Brit smiles as I woo the Fin with my romantic touch

Lance and Claudia

Life aint that bad mate - Put a smile on your dial

Flaming limbo

Apparently Matt won this when he did it - Good work you Welsh coalminer

The fire dancer

One of the many fire dancers littering the beach.

Goodbye Koh Samui, Hello Koh Pan Nan

I woke up at 7am. I had to do this to get to Chaweng beach by 9am. I took a taxi back.

I got back and knocked on the door again. Stirling, looking worse for wear, answered. “Did you get some ass last night Pete” “No, You fucker, you locked the door and wouldn’t wake up”. I was pretty dark on the whole matter.

Lance came round at 9am. Seeing that we were worse for wear and obviously not nearly ready said “hurry the fuck up, you guys should be ready by now. The boat leaves pretty soon!”. Stirling and I got a wriggle on - We were out in a flash.

We caught the boat to Koh Pan Nan. It was bloody hot and I was soooo tired. I slept in my seat. It wasn’t a good sleep but a necessary one.

It wasn’t long before we arrived at Koh Pan Nan. We found a place, not as good as the last, but about 5 times cheaper. Stirling and I were sharing a double bed. And for those who are wondering “NO FILTHY ANTICS TOOK PLACE!;-0”.

Lance and Claudia, who wer eon a budget, looked for a cheaper place. We met them for lunch.

After lunch I had a sleep. I hadn’t slept well since arriving in Thailand and my body was feeling worse for wear. I had a 3 hour sleep. It was a great sleep. I woke up feeling hot and irritable but was glad for the rest.

The irritability didn’t last long. As I ventured outside I saw a brilliant array of pink and red. The sunset was amazing. I stopped feeling unhappy and tired and stated feeling glad to be alive. It was refreshing. I took a few pictures before heading to the internet café.

I had said that I would meet Lance and Claudia but lost track of time.

I found them in a café and had dinner. We watched Narnia while lying back on the comfort of the café chairs. It almost put me to sleep. At the end of the movie, I wanted to head to bed but knew that my time in Koh Pan Nan was limited and that I ha to make the most of it. We headed to the beach where we consumed a few buckets.

Stirling, Christine and some Hiroshima JETs were also there. We talked and had a merry old time.

Then Lance reminded me of the arm wrestle we had had on the first night in Koh Samui. I vaguely remembered it. Lance didn’t – HE was sober and reminded me of his emphatic victory. I challenged him again. He refused. I told him he was a pussy and that he needed to harden up. He said he would only arm wrestle me if I got on my knees as if I was praying and begged him. Wanting to redeem the loss I did this.

To put it into perspective, I haven’t lost an arm wrestle in 3 years. I have lost 2 in the past 5 years – one of which I have since redeemed. I have also had one draw. The 1st loss was against Lance’s friend and Navy buddy. A wiry chap, I underestimated. He didn’t give me a 2nd chance to beat him. The second was to a little Korean guy who claimed to be the best Asian arm wrestler in NZ. He said that he had won a trophy. I lost to him but beat him a week later. The draw was my first battle against Lance 4 years ago in the university pub. It was an epic battle but for the sake of the night we decided to call it a draw. We were both too stubborn to give up.

Then there was my first night in Koh Samui. I had been beaten convincingly. Today was round 2. We lined up. I was ready for battle. There was nothing holding me back today – no excuses. We started – I had Lance in a commanding position. I then heard a massive crack form my arm and intense pain. I kept going but as the pain got worse felt it was in my best interests to concede. I have seen ‘world strong men’ break their arms when arm wrestling and I didn’t want to be another statistic :-).

I was angry that I had lost. However I am glad I gave up. My arm, 3 weeks later, is still sore. I then, on video, stated that Lance was the stronger man – Something very tough for me to say.

After the arm wrestle I had a big ‘deep and meaningful’ with Lance and Claudia. The contents of the conversation wont be stated but it left me thinking about my current life and future. It was a very sobering conversation and left me in tears!

I wasn’t in the mood to do anything after the conversation so I headed to bed. I couldn’t sleep – YET ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT IN THAILAND.

Leaving Koh Samui

Bye Koh Samui - May your tackiness be with me forever!

Beautiful sunset

I wish I had come to Koh Pan Nan earlier. It's a lot nicer than Koh Samui.

All to get an arm wrestle

Lance made me beg for another arm wrestle. Could I beat him if given a second chance?

The arm wrestle

The concentration before battle is intense.

Frame 1

I'm in control.

Frame 2

I heard 'crack'! And things went downhill.

Frame 3

A last despairing effort as Lance finishes me off.

Winding down on Koh Samui

I got out of bed at midday but I had been awake since 9.30am. I really can't sleep here with all the construction.

I met up with Jo at 1pm and had lunch with her and her mother. It was nice. We then went for a nice romantic walk on the beach. The excuse for meeting her was to give her back her watch. I actually really wanted to see her anyway. I guess it worked out well in that respect. As she was off to Malaysia I said my goodbyes and left her and her Mum on the beach. I had a good time with her and hope to keep in contact.

That night Lance, Claudia and I went shopping. I looked for artwork for my wall in Japan. It looks really bare. Lance and Claudia also bought a few art pieces. We were shopping for a long time. I bought shoes, shirts and many other unnecessary items. I had said that I would meet Stirling at 'The Viking Bar" at 10pm. Our shopping had taken a long time. We met Stirling and told him we'd meet up later (we still needed dinner).

We had a nice Indian meal. It was overlooking a 'He-she' dance festival. It was amusing to watch such antics. The Indian meal was brilliant. It was one of the best Indian meals I had had since leaving India. I was very impressed.

After dinner we met Stirling and some other JET's (Hiroshima JET's). We danced and had a good time. Stirling went home early. I followed him a couple of hours later. When I arrived home the door was locked. I knocked and knocked but Stirling didn't answer. I was pissed off and angry. I wanted to get some sleep - I haven’t been sleeping well in Thailand.

Fortunately the Hiroshima people I was with had a place so I bunked down with them for the night. Unfortunately it was on the next beach over. It took a long time to get there. As we were leaving to Koh Pan Nan in the morning I had to get up early. Yet another night with little sleep. It was 5am when I finally hit the sack.

11 shots - 8.69 SECONDS - POSSIBLE WORLD RECORD!

I came in a 4am and woke up at 9.30am. The bloody construction. It was so loud. I couldn’t possibly get any sleep with such a racket. I woke up had brunch and did nothing.

I met up with some girls from the Hong Kong UWC. I went to the UWC in India so I guess we had something in common. It was good to see them. It made me realize how I ‘used to be’. They were so positive and happy about life (and to be alive). I used to be like that. I guess when I was at the UWC I really felt I could make a difference in the world. I was idealistic, bright, fresh and starry eyed. They were in their second year so we discussed how it was when I left the UWC. How I went through a big depression and that they should enjoy their time at the UWC because in my opinion “IT IS THE BEST EXPERIENCE THEY WILL EVER HAVE”. To be honest since the UWC my life has been somewhat of an anticlimax. A little sad to say I know but no 2 years have compared to the 2 years I spent there. I used to get down because I knew that I had had the best 2 years of my life. Now I appreciate the experience for what it is. I look back and feel happy that Ive had the experience and not sad that I will never have that experience again. I guess for my sanity I’ve had to do it that way. We talked for a few hours.

The afternoon flew by. I think I was walking on the beach and chilling. In these beach place peoples seem to do a lot of ‘chilling’.

Today we went out for food. I don’t remember what we had. I think we were going to have Swiss but the place (and owner) looked really dodgy. For this reason we chose another place on the beach.

To be honest the day was spent psyching myself up for the competition. NATIONAL PRIDE WAS AT STAKE. Could I beat the Swede a second time on his home ground. I had said that I would meet up with the Aussie girl (Jo) whom I met last night. We were meeting at 10pm. I actually didn’t think that she would show. Being that man that I am I thought I had better go anyway. If she did decode to come It wouldn’t be good. I’m a man of my promises. As I had sworn ‘pinky promise and stamp’ I had to be there. We were meeting at the Viking bar at 10pm. This was the place of the shot competition so I had to be there anyway.

Low and behold, on the dot of 10pm the girl was there. She came with her Mum. These two were a pair and typical Aussies. To be honest that’s what I liked so much about them. We proceeded to get on the piss. I drank a few beers and 3 (or so) Mai Thai’s. Both Mum and daughter alike were gett8ing ‘hard on it’.

Lance, Claudia and Stirling came at 11pm. They were looking forward to the bout.The battle of the countries. It was going to a BATTLE ROYALE.

At 11pm I looked around and my Swedish opponent was not in the pub. Had he been scared? Was he nervous? Was he playing mind games? I didn’t know. We were assured by his mate that he would be in the pub soon. You must remember, watching the events unfold is a girl I met the previous day, her mother and 30 others who were interested in seeing the result of the battle.

WHO WOULD WIN? WOULD THE SWEDE TAKE IT ON HIS HOME GROUND or WOULD THE YOUNG KIWI RISE FROM NOTHING TO BEAT HIM

IT WAS THE BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY!!!

The Swede came, glowing. He said “Are you prepared for defeat”. I said “Maybe so mate” “ You may talk the talk, BUT can you walk the walk? Let the drinking and times do the talking my friend” He scoffed at my statement and turned to his adoring supporters. I had 5 people on my side. The rest of the pub, who all happened to be Swedish, were on his side.

After a bit of debate as to whether we could do a ‘head to head’ battle, it was on. They needed 2 stop watches. Thankfully someone in the audience lent one to the timers.

After a few words it and a bit of psyching up on both sides we were ready. We turned wished each other luck and the count down was on 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, BANG!.

BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. It was over. I looked over and the Swede still had 4 more shots to do. I had won and won emphatically.

WHAT A WIN – WHAT A VICTORY. THE WIN WOULD BE REMEMBERED AS ONE OF THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME.

AND the official time: 11 SHOTS IN 8.69 SECONDS.

THAT’S RIGHT – IT’S OFFICIAL

8.69 SECONDS

It was the pub record, possibly a world record. Unfortunately it got quite messy and I was really sticky for the rest of the night. As I washed up, the swede came into the toilet (he was also very sticky) patted me on the back and said

“YOU ARE TRULY A GREAT MAN”

He later followed with
“YOURE A CREDIT TO YOUR COUNTRY AND YOURSELF”

The Swede and I congratulated each other. It’s really difficult to do 11 shots in such quick time. Not only was the Swede a great guy but he was gracious in defeat. The loss must have hurt badly (maybe not, but for the purpose of the story it did). Once we were all cleaned up I bought the Swede a beer and we yarned for an hour or so.

After that we Lance, Claudia, Stirling, Jo and her Mum hung out. We went to Karaoke. It was a good night. We chilled, drank a bit and had fun.

I ended up staying out until 3am. I went home and chilled with Jo for an hour or so. Stirling came in drunk as a skunk. I won’t go into what happened as I don’t think Stirling remembers much of it.

I walked Jo home. We kissed. I was tired and was in a delirious state. You know when you’re so tired that you stop focusing ion the conversation and start talking bull shit. Well, that was how tired I was! I was talking shit. It was really bad. Jo understood though. We agreed to meet the next day. She had left her watch at my place!

I took a motor bike home (rode on the back), got home and went to sleep.

NZ VS SWEDEN

The Battle Royale - The fight for supremacy - Who would win?

It has begun

Sven takes a rest as I hop to work.

NZ IS VICTORIOUS

My hand held high as I celebrate victory

Sven and Stubbs

The two contestants. Friends even after such a mighty battle.

NZ ON TOP OF THE WORLD - Head and shoulders above the rest!

8.69 seconds and 1st in the world (well - pub!). Could this be a WORLD RECORD? Better get The Guinness book to take a look!

CHRISTMAS DAY, 23 YEARS OLD AND 11 SHOTS IN 11.55 SECONDS

I woke up at midday. My sleep actually hadn’t been good at all. I was hung over and a bit depressed. I guess that’s what drinking copious amounts of alcohol will do to you. I had lunch (breakfast?) with Lance and Claudia. Stirling had headed off early to go on a trip around the island. I was in no way able to do such a thing. I had a good day with Lance and Claudia. I did a gym work out – I know, I know – I’m obsessed. We chilled on the beach. I tried to get some sleep in the afternoon but failed miserably :-(.

I then hung out with Lance and Claudia for th rest of the day. To be honest it was the best Christmas I’ve had in a while - Hanging out with 2 really good friends on a beach in Thailand. I couldn’t ask for much more.

Stirling came back and we all had Christmas dinner. It was nice. I received 2 Christmas presents this year and 10 or so cards. It was my most lucrative Christmas for a few years.

I was still feeling the effects of the previous night so I drank slowly. I knew the way I was feeling that I would fade quickly. Lance saw this and tried encouraging me to drink a bit more.

We headed to ‘The Viking bar”. We arrived to see a Swedish guy trying to do 11 shots in under 11 seconds. It was insane. Never had I seen such a concept. He managed to do it in 11.98 seconds. Not a bad effort really. It’s tougher than it looks. I got amped for the guy. I knew the difficulty of it and I praised his efforts.

I was really fading really quickly. Lance being the man he is said “Pete, You’re going to do those shots”. “ No, I’m not mate”. “Pete is your birthday and you’re being a sad arse”. “Alright – Fair enough. Ill do it then”.

To be honest I was a little nervous. I don’t like doing such things. I especially don’t like doing it when I’m not feeling 100%. I was worried that I would froth and vomit all over the place. For this reason I took off my shirt (It was the done thing :-). Doing 11 shots as fast as you can do this to you – TRUST ME, I’ve seen it before! I told the people at the bar to “line them up” and that I was game. I was going to do it. Not only was I going to do it but I was going to do it well. I was getting pumped. I was amping myself up. It was not going to be an easy task. I saw the photos afterwards and I had my game face on. I was focused.

I was given some last minute advice form the Swedish man who had done the shots not 15 minutes before.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 DRINK. I started putting them back. Two shots then swallow. Speed was the main aim. I got most of it in my mouth. Some of it went all over me but I think most found its way to my mouth. At about 6 shots I felt like vomiting but I kept going. Not only was personal pride at stake BUT I WAS REPRESENTING MY COUNTRY. This is an international bar. I cant have people going back to their countries saying “Oh, and there was this kiwi – bit of a try hard really, he tried to do the 11 shot challenge but stop half way through and vomited all over the place – What a loser. New Zealand must be full of wimpy individuals.” This was not going to happen. For this reason, I put my comfort aside and continued shotting. I struggled to find the last shot and lost valuable time.

By the end I was struggling to breath and in dire need of some help. My Time

11 SHOTS IN 11.55 SECONDS.

A commendable performance (but not commendable enough). I was disappointed. I could have done it a lot better. The little mishap at the end, where I lost the shot, caused me to lose a lot of time.

On the up side I BEAT THE SWEDE. His time was 11.98 seconds. He was angry that I had beaten him on his home turf.

For this reason he came up to me and said “A CHALLENGE, ME VS YOU, NZ VS SWEDEN, TOMORROW AT 11PM.” I’m not one to turn down a challenge so I happily accepted. He wanted a chance to redeem himself. I thought – I’m always up to give a man a second chance. If I beat him again then I am the better man (maybe not, but that’s what I’ll tell him!)
It was brilliant. Form there the night turned good. It’s amazing what a bit of adrenaline can do to a night! I was now happy and up for a biggie.

And a biggie I had. I met a nice Australian girl. We agreed top meet up the next night.
The heavens opened and the rain started. It was pouring. It was the hardest rain I had seen in a while – like Indian monsoon hard. My good shoes got destroyed. I guess it’s a good thing I’m in Thailand so I can get some cheap, new ones in the next few days. I stumbled in at 4am.

Christmas/Birthday dinner

THE CHALLENGE

The shot challenge

Sven the Swede

I'm not sure if his name was Sven. I think it might have been Frederick. Sven was easier to say and remember... He set the ball rolling. The first of the night to do 11 shots. I think his time was 11.98 seconds. A commendable effort!

A bit of helpful advice

Well, it's final, I'm going to do it. With a bit of encouragement from Lance and Stirling I was ready... In this photo Sven the Swede is giving advice. He said something along the lines of "Don't think about it. JUST DO IT. At about 6 shots you'll feel like giving up. DON'T - JUST KEEP GOING. Good luck my friend, may god be with you". Wise words from a good man.

The start draws near

10 shots on the bar - 1 more to go. I'm looking focussed - I have my game face on. What would be the final result. Would I be showered in praise and worship or be booed and mocked for a pitiful performance. Only time would tell.

A bit messy

As you can see things got a bit messy. Most of the shots made it into my belly though!

It has begun

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 BANG. In this photo you can see that the shots are being downed 2 at a time.

Celebrations

I celebrate as I learn my time - 11.55 seconds!

The official time

3rd on the all time list - Not a bad effort.

Arrival in Koh Samui

I woke up on a bus at about 6.30am. My sleep was surprisingly good. I was happy about this as I was tired from my last few nights in Japan. We got off the bus, hoped on a taxi and went to the ferry port. We waited at the ferry port for 2 hours before boarding the boat to Koh Samui. I tried sleeping but failed miserably.

We arrived in Koh Samui. I was hot, irritable and in need of sleep. Although I had slept well on the bus it didn’t seem to make me any less tired. We took a 400 Baht taxi to Chaweng beach (the main strip) and searched for a place to stay. As we were all getting hot and a little pissed off we decided that Stirling and I would stay and look after the bags while Claudia and Lance would look for a place. Stirling and I chilled in a restaurant. We mused on the antics that could occur and looked in happiness to what we had arrived to.

To be honest Koh Samui wasn’t exactly what I had expected. I had thought that there would be more young people. I had also thought that it would be a lot cheaper than it was. Beer, rooms and rip off goods were almost what you’d pay back home - so much for the cheap holiday! I had expected the British tourists but not nearly as many as there were. It was unnerving to see so many. it was also unnerving to see so many FAT, MIDDLE AGED BRITS with hot, young, little Thai birds. To be honest I was sickened by it. These are the guys that give westerners a bad name in Thailand. Despite these bad things I was satisfied that I would be spending the majority of my holiday here.

Lance and Claudia came back with a place. We walked for miles. Lance then said "I think we’ve gone too far" We had actually gone about 1km too far. How he did this I will never know. The trip from our start point was only 1km! Surely he should have picked it up earlier that we had gone a little far. Stirling and I were amused and baffled by this.

Stirling and I got an A/C room. This was half price as there were workers working above it. I said "I don't mind. the workers won't bother me". At that time I thought the noise would be ok. I'm usually pretty good at sleeping through noise. It ended up frustrating me to no end. To be honest it was a bad decision on my behalf.

The afternoon came and went. we mucked around on the beach. Lance and I searched for a gym. We actually found one but the price was off - putting. Instead we got some Mai Thai boxing gloves and planned to have a bout on the beach. The bout never occurred.

We had a nice dinner. I think we had Italian. From memory it was very expensive and not all that nice.

That night I got ABSOLUTLEY WASTED. I had attained heights of drunkenness I had only attained once or twice in my life. It was ridiculous. As I was so excited to see Lance I went overboard and got silly. I think I had 4 buckets of piss (equivalent of 1 large bottle) not to mention the 4 or 5 beers beforehand.

I don’t remember much of the night. Lance beat me in an arm wrestle.

I made video coverage of the night. To be honest I was disgusted at the state of drunkenness I had attained. My voice recordings got worse and worse. I was a disgrace. I realized how unattractive I am when I drink too much. To be honest I WAS SO DRUNK I LOST MY MIND. I thought back on the night the next day and was scared (and saddened) by the fact that I had no control over my actions. It wasn’t me. I'm not the same person when drunk. IT WAS A WAKE UP CALL!

The last thing I recorded was "FUCK MY MATES FOR DITCHING ME". As it happens they had told me they were leaving but I was so drunk that I had forgotten them telling me this. Fuck my mates - How about FUCK ME - I'm the disgraceful one. The night and the video recordings of the night made me realized that I have a problem. Maybe the problem is alcohol. It is easy to blame problems on alchol. For this reason I think THE MAIN PROBLEM IS ME. I had a good look at myself after the night. I will discuss this at a later time.

I returned home late. I forgot most of the night. The bits I remember made me sad.

Our room

Pretty pimp for 2 dirty individuals like us.

We have arrived

WATCH OUT! - THE BOYS ARE IN TOWN.

The Viking Bar

By the end of our trip 'The Viking Bar' was infamous.

...And the night moves on

As the night progressed 'buckets' became the drink of choice.

Off to Thailand

After staying at Jenni's I headed to the airport. It was an early morning. Not being a morning person I was slow and unhappy to have to get up so early (7am).

I went to Hakata, took the subway to the airport. I was there far too early. I like to have a lot of time up my sleeve in such situations. I changed 80,000YEN. It converted to 25,000 Baht. I wasn't sure what the rate was everywhere else but I must say I was a little disappointed. I thought the Thai Baht was a bit weaker.

I went through the formalities and headed to the departure lounge. When there I saw Lauren and Ellen. It’s a small world. I also saw 5 or 6 other JET's (from Hiroshima ken) that I hadn’t seen in a while. It was good to catch up. I bought a bottle of sake, a few other things and waited for the plane.

HERE WAS MY SITUATION
On arrival in Thailand I had to get from the airport to the city in 2 hours. In most cities this wouldn’t be a problem but as Bangkok is notorious for its bad traffic and I didn't know exactly where I was going I knew time would be tight. If I didn’t meet up with Lance and Claudia I would have to catch the bus the next day. When you’re only in Thailand for 5-6 days every day is precious. I didn’t want to 'waste' a day in Bangkok. To add to the mixing pot I also had to meet Stirling as well. I knew the chances of all of us being at the right place at the right time were very slim however I am forever the optimist so I did have faith. The situation did leave me a little apprehensive. I hoped I would be able to make it.

The first stop in Thailand would be Bangkok. All things going well I would only be in Bangkok for a few hours and then head down to Koh Samui. I would spend most of my time there and then a few nights at Koh Pan Nan to wind down the holiday. I would get a day in Bangkok on the way home. From the holiday I wanted to party, relax and have a good time. I didn’t want to do any cultural stuff. Everyday in Japan I am on cultural overload.

We boarded the flight. Before take off we were delayed half an hour. Bloody hell! Why do these things always have to happen when time is short? The flight was good. On landing we were delayed another 15 minutes. I knew that the chance of meeting Lance, Claudia and Stirling were becoming less and less. Of course my bag took forever to come out at baggage claim.

I got out of the airport building, got the first taxi driver and said "Khao San road, VERY FAST - MUST BE FAST!". Stirling had recommended that I take the expressway to avoid the other traffic. I took his advice. I asked the taxi driver how likely it would be to make it. He said "you might." We had 1 hour to get into the city. This guy recognized the urgency and floored it. We were going 120kmph on the expressway. I must say it was a commendable driving performance. Once in Bangkok he got lost but quickly found his bearings. I was where I was supposed to be at 6pm (in an hour). The bugger had done it. Just as he pulled in I saw Lance and Claudia coming out of the alley. I gave him a nice bonus for his efforts before calling to Lance and Claudia. We walked for 3 seconds and saw Stirling sitting at a table. It had all worked out. I was relieved.

The holiday was making a good start. Lance and I caught up. We hadn’t seen each other for 5 months. As we are best mates there was a lot of catching up to do. We are both too useless to write or call regularly.

We waited around for ages. I think we finally left at 8pm. I saw a few more JET's from NZ and waved hello.

I presented Lance with his present, a 2L bottle of sake, which he kindly accepted. We proceeded to drink it on the bus. Stirling, Lance and I were all having swigs. Once the bottle was finished we headed to sleep. I think the alcohol served as a sedative.

Finally off

Finally off to Thailand

Last working day of the year

Today was my last work day for the year. Thank the lord!!

I'm sick of the winter and sick of the cold. I need a break. I need to get out of Japan. It's frustrating and I'm starting to get a bit bitter towards the people (Japanese and JET’s) in Japan. I think it is a combination of the time of year and winter.

I really hope a good holiday will stop these feelings and reinvigorate my enthusiasm and happiness for Japan. I seem to have lost this as the winter has set in.

I set off after leaving the BOE. It was a nice bus ride to Shin - Yamaguchi. I think the anticipation of the upcoming holiday was getting me excited. As I was meeting a friend in Fukuoka I was going to take the Shinkansen.

I was on the shink and settling down for a short and sweet journey. I went to get my phone to text my friend. WTF - Where's my phone? For fuck sake. I knew I had it on the bus. Shit, Should I go back? I decided to go back and see of the bus driver had handed it to someone. But then it might not be on the bus. I may have accidentally thrown it away or it might have dropped out of my pocket while I was running for the train. Bugger me - I didn't need this. It was very inconvenient. Also, as all my phone numbers and people I know in Japan are on my phone I would have no way of getting in contact with anyone. I hadn't saved any numbers or written them on my computer. It was going to hinder anything I did in Japan before or on return from Thailand. I wouldn’t be able to get in contact with my friends in Fukuoka. Ut was a disaster.

I THEN REAQLISED HOW IMPORTANT MY PHONE IS IN JAPAN. I use it everyday. It is my lifeline - WOW - How sad I've become :-)!

I was at Asa so I returned to Shin - Yamaguchi. I retraced my steps, looked on the floor, put my hands in a rubbish bin, much to the disgrace of the on looking Japanese people, and asked the lady behind the bus counter if it had been returned. It hadn’t but the bus that I had come to Yamaguchi on was still in the parking lot. I woke the bus driver, who was sleeping and searched the bus.

....AND IT WAS THERE! Thank the lord.

I got the next shink to Fukuoka. I texted furiously - I had been without my phone for too long (hehehe - I'm so sad).

The night was uneventful. I went shopping with my friend in Fukuoka but didn’t buy anything. I tried on a few clothes but wasn’t seriously contemplating buying anything. I guess I’m turning girly by the second.

We did this for a few hours before I had to meet the friend I was staying with.

My mate lived pretty close and we headed back and slept. Both of us were tired.

"The weather outside is frightful"

Good bye for this year snow - I won't miss you!

For Stirling

Stirling. This is a picture of the guy that has the tickets to Koh Samui. He's pretty big (about 6ft) and quite muscular. He has blondy/brown hair and might be sunburnt. His name is Lance. His girlfriend is about 5ft 4, blonde, very good looking and Swiss. I hope this pic will help you find him.

Another picture for Stirling

Takibe

I woke up early and saw a war scene when I entered the lounge. The party antics had obviously gone on well after I went to bed.

Today, after hangovers become bearable we went to an island near Takibe. It was cold, windy and at times, somewhat beautiful.

The highlight of the night was sitting in the with the warm sun penetrating my skin overlooking the sea from a quaint cafe in the middle of nowhere. They also served pretty good food.

Overall it was a good day. The company was good and conversation was flowing.

I got back to Hagi as night fell with Dave, Matt and Paul. I was tired and headed to bed early.

Turning Japanese!

Dave is a big dick

Where's Spiller

Believe it or not there is a hobbit under all these blankets

Disgraceful

What is with the Japanese? Why do they destroy their coasts like this?

Beautiful

This is the view from the cafe. It was really beautiful - I don't think the picture does it justice. I hope that the Japanese can keep the concreting at bay so to leave this view looking like it does now!

Matts clone

After many months of not cutting his hair Matt has taken the resemblance of this beast I saw on Tom Smiths wall. Despite being blonde this beasts likeness to Matt, with its long flowing locks, is unparalleled.

A Festivus for the rest of us

‘And it’s another FESTIVUS MIRACLE!’

At the Tokyo orientation Stirling, an alternative looking individual (he was wearing a French hat), approached me with an idea that was ‘a little out there’. Being newly acquainted this was possibly a risky thing to suggest. When hearing him speak I was gravitated to the idea he was putting forward. What was he talking about - A holiday for ‘the rest of us’, a holiday for those who hate the rigmarole of Christmas. WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WAS FESTIVUS. When hearing of festivus I immediately embraced the idea. I encouraged Stirling to tell others of this unique but interesting alternative for the sickening phoniness of Christmas. From this time I was excited about festivus. As an avid hater of Christmas and the Christmas spirit I felt that this alternative would be perfect to air my hatred and cynicism of the festive season. Stirling mentioned the idea to others in the ken. They embraced the idea as I had. FROM THIS MOMENT FESTIVUS IN YAMAGUCHI WAS BORN!

SO WHAT IS FESTIVUS? (For those back home)

A Seinfeld episode introduced the notion of festivus. Apparently its origins stretch far before this but for this blog post (and the day) we’ll say Seinfeld created the idea.

As quoted by Stirling - A good and humorous summation of festivus. (I hope you don’t mind me posting this mate!)

“George Constanza -- the pathological failure, narcissist, and self-abnegating best friend of Jerry Seinfeld -- had a troubled childhood because of the insanity of his parents. His father (actor Jerry Stiller, father of Ben Stiller) hated Christmas, in particular, so he decided to create a holiday alternative to the feel-good happy-clappy family-love of Christmas.

As George's father Frank describes it in the episode,

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born... a Festivus for the rest of us!
Cosmo Kramer: That must've been some kind of doll.
Frank Costanza: She was.

As you can see, the slogan that evolved from that is, "A Festivus for the rest of us!" The basic idea behind the holiday is that it is an alternative -- indeed, an inverse -- to Christmas. While Christmas is loving and supportive, Festivus is bitter and divisive. While Christmas is about giving thoughtful gifts, Festivus is about giving grief and resentment. Frank Costanza was bitter, and so he visited that bitterness on the rest of his family through the tradition of Festivus.
There are three main components to the holiday:

1) The Aluminum ("aluminium" for you tongue-twisted limies) Pole. Instead of an Xmas tree, Festivus is celebrated around an aluminum pole.

2) The Airing of Grievances. At the dinner table or some other appropriate forum, guests are invited to air their grievances about other guests. how they have disappointed you in the past year.

3) The Feats of Strength. Festivus is not officially over until the Feats of Strength have been performed. This can include pretty much anything you can think of: push-ups, hoola-hooping, jumping jacks. arm-wrestling, thumb-wrestling, etc. In Seinfeld, officially, Festivus was over when George finally pinned Frank (his dad) in a wrestling match.”

The Day
The day started in Fukuoka. I won’t go into details but the mischief of the previous night continued. This made for a great start to the day. I headed back to Shimonoseki at midday to meet Matt and Stirling.

They were sleeping and talking of the massive Fukuoka night despite a few memory lapses. We slept before watching the miracle of festivus (The Seinfeld episode). After this we headed to the liquor store for our ‘poisons’. I took along time deciding. It is a crucial part of the night. A bad choice could leave me unhappy and unfulfilled.

We all descended on Takibe where the Festivus shenanigans would begin. We walked to a quaint little pub where we were to meet the others partaking in the Festivus holiday. We had a few beers here before heading to the ‘main course’. Dinner, drink and the airing of many grievances.

I had 3 against me. The 1st was from Matt – That I always do the same ‘blue steel’ pose in photos. For those that don’t know ‘blue steel’ watch Zoolander and it will quickly become apparent! The 2nd was from Dave – This was regarding my apartment. I think it was more a begrudged grievance as I had just previously grieved to him. It was true, well put and pretty funny. The 3rd was by Laura – This was amusing but not for reiteration in the blog.

Stirling had 3 also. It was very funny. One was that he is an incredibly intelligent, well-spoken individual sober but turns ‘animal’ when pissed. I think Tom ‘crossing the line’ was brought up too. Matts’ nice guy image was questioned. Justin grieved most people and was amusing. Selena struggled to find any grievances (she’s just too nice!). There were many others but as I’m writing this a month later it’s difficult to remember.

I tried RAW HORSE MEAT! It was ok but a bit fatty.

We ended up on the top of a hill singing Karaoke. It was cold walk to the top but merry and festive ;-). Karaoke was fun. We sung many songs and managed to scare all the Japanese out of the pub – hehehe – I guess we were just too much gaijin for them!

We left for Toms at 11pm. Once at Toms we waited for the others to arrive. Unfortunately due to my huge Friday night I was falling asleep in my chair and had to crash early. I felt disappointed with myself but was in dire need of sleep. The others kept the ball rolling. Apparently Justin and Tom followed me soon after.

Not sure what the others did. When I came down in the morning Paul was doing superman’s over everyone and still looked VERY PISSED. There was a broken door (MARKO – They’re not free standing ;-)!). Hung over bodies were sprawled all over the lounge. They were a sight for sore eyes but the remnants of a good night.

Dave

Dave and his purpose built hole